Monday, December 31, 2007
On the TTC front, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that AF found me yesterday. But the good news is that we've got one more chance before Josh goes to Georgia for 3 months. It's a small chance, but we're going to give it a go. Josh will probably be leaving on CD12 so we're going to have to do a lot of BDing in the hopes that I'll actually O on CD14 or so (I'm on Clomid again) and some of his "sailors" will still be around to meet the egg. With Josh being gone for the next 3 months, I probably won't be, but I'm really hoping that all my "batcave" girls will be new moms this time next year.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Again, Merry Christmas and I hope you get everything you need and desire. And have a safe and joyous New Year!
Monday, December 17, 2007
I've gotten 2 of these today. One was about how the new presidential dollar coins aren't going to have "In God We Trust" printed on the front. The other was about some boy who was missing. Both emails were false. How hard is it to check out snopes.com before sending it on?? I mean, please do the world a favor and check out stuff before you send it on and clog up all your friends' inboxes!!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
We start out in denial where we are just sure it's going to happen next cycle. We refuse to believe that we really are infertile. Infertility seems like such a bad word. Even though we've been trying for over a year and a half, I've only recently begun to use it. We think the fault must lie with our partners or even with the doctor who isn't doing enough.
Next we move to anger. We get mad at our partners for not being as into TTC as we are. We get mad at God for not giving us what we really want. We get mad at those who get their BFP's and those who have kids without having to "try." Fertility meds don't help matters any. They make us emotional and irritable.
Then we start the bargaining stage. We ask what we're doing wrong. Why not us? What can we do to be better, to be more deserving? We begin to pray more, do more things for others, try to prove our worthiness.
Depression comes next. We cry for no reason. We withdrawl into ourselves. We take a step back from blogging, from message boards, from friends, and loved ones. We avoid those who are pregnant or who have children because it just hurts too damn much.
Finally, we reach a state of acceptance. We remember that another cycle means another chance. We make appointments with OB's and RE's. We do more testing. We start looking at next steps.
Unfortunately, with TTC, it doesn't end there. It's as though we begin the process over and over again EVERY cycle. We finally reach that state where we're okay with the 20 or more cycles we've gone through. But then something happens and we get hope that maybe just maybe it's going to end different this time. Then AF rears her ugly head. And we are sent spiraling into grief once again.
I didn't mean for this to get so long. But if you've read this far, I hope it has helped you as much as it has helped me to get it out. It's helped me process my grief a little more. I'm not feeling angry any more. I still wish there was something I could do that would "make" it happen. But I think I'll be okay for a while. At least for the next couple weeks or so.
As you can see, I've redesigned my blog layout. I also added some more info. I sent emails to former students and co-workers asking for letters of recommendation. It seems like nothing else has helped me get a job. I'm trying to think of more things to do. I really hate being tired but not able to sleep.
Earlier, I submitted a post to the Creme de la Creme. It wasn't that great, but she said she'd kick anyone's ass who tried to use that as an excuse. I also tried to add the image link to my blog, but it wasn't working for some reason so that was a bit frustrating.
I have no idea what's going on with my body right now. I'm on CD14 (well, 15 now) and I'm still getting lows on my CBE monitor. Every other time I've used my monitor, I've been on Clomid so it might just be confused. I didn't use an OPK today, but the one yesterday was negative. My temps have been higher than normal the last few days. In fact, if I put in a couple more temps like what they've been, FF will give me crosshairs on CD12. But I really don't think I O'd then. Though I have been having odd cramps the last week or so. I've also had some major face breakouts, but that normally happens right before AF shows; I can't remember if I also get it before O. So like I said, I'm really confused. And this is probably the last cycle I'll get to try for a while. Josh is leaving for 3 months in Georgia either early or mid January.
Okay so there's another 10-15 minutes. I'll go see what else I can do until I get tired enough to go to sleep. I might be back later.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Anyway, I hope your Thanksgiving was better than mine. Though it was actually pretty good considering AF tried to ruin it.
Monday, November 19, 2007
On a side note, I have a job interview today. It's for a middle school science position. The school also has history and math positions. I'd much rather have the math job, but right now I'll take anything I can get. I'll update when I find out.
I'm leaving tomorrow for Josh's dad's house. We'll be there until Thursday afternoon. It'll be good to get away for a little while. Josh is getting really frustrated with his job right now. He's seriously considering getting out of the Navy in a couple years when his contract is up. And he's a bit scared about what he'll do or where we'll go. I'll try to tell him that we've still got 2 years to decide. But he's been really moody about it.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
|You Are The Fool|
You are about to embark on a new phase in your life.This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status.You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry.You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
- Started Clomid (100mg) on Sat Oct 6
- Thurs, Oct 11 pick up prescription of Repronex
- Fri, Oct 12 have Repronex injection
- Mon, Oct 15 ultra sound to check follies
- If follie check okay, IUI on Wed Oct 17
Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes! I'm really hoping this works
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
So the only real update is that we will be doing an IUI this next cycle, which will probably start tomorrow. I've got to call the nurse on CD1 and schedule my U/S and figure out what meds I'll need to take. So hopefully, we'll be on our way to being KU soon. If this IUI does work, that would make me due in July. which will be good as far as school goes. I should be out of school a few weeks before and will still have several weeks before school starts again.
Oh, I guess there is another update as far as the job goes. Next week, I'm going to a sub orientation so that I can start subbing. I'm really tired of working for peanuts the way I am now. I just feel like they're using me and paying me as little as possible. It feels like I'll never get a real teaching job as long as they can get by with paying me as an aide and expecting me to do more.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
On the TTC front, I'm on my second round of clomid. Once I ovulate I'll start taking prometrium to keep my progesterone levels up. So we're still pretty much just waiting for something to happen.
On the job front, the first day for teachers was yesterday and I'm still working as a freakin aide. With as many new special ed teachers there were at the district department meeting, I'm a little irritated that I didn't get a job this summer. The good news is that I just saw that there is a PK-5 Elementary Classroom position opening. Even better, I have an interview for a 3rd grade position at a private Lutheran school tomorrow morning.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I've been to a lot of funerals, but Mollie's was the hardest. I've been able to rationalize just about every other death, but there's no way to understand why such a precious little girl had to go. Please continue to pray for her parents and brother.
As much as I've been focused on trying to get pregnant, this really put it into perspective for me. They say that to have loved and lost is better than not to have loved at all. But I think I'd rather take not being able to get pregnant than to have one much less two of my children die before the age of 11.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
oh, he also told me that if we're BDing at least twice a week, it's probably not a matter of timing so I don't really NEED to temp since it can get real old and add stress. But I personally like knowing exactly where in my cycle I am
another cool thing he said was that often when they do the HSG, the woman gets KU within a few months b/c when they shoot the dye up your tubes it can clear any blockage.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
On Tuesday, I got my period, which means once again, I'm NOT pregnant! This really sucks. I'm getting tired of this roller coaster of trying. I know, I know, it'll happen when it's supposed to. But I hate the not knowing and the waiting.